Soccer

At this moment, I am trying to write a chapter of my graduation thesis.
At this same moment an entire stadium of soccer enthusiasts are shouting their team to victory... it's at most 1 km from where I am trying to work.
I checked. Shouting started at 1430.. Game started at 1430.
I so wish I could trade places with the mindless shouting socces fans...
I think they have as much intelligent things to say about technocracy as I have at this moment.

Mediocre

I think the most difficult thing about graduating is that I feel it isn't good enough.
I feel what I am writing is mediocre. And for some reason I just do not see how I can improve what I am doing. So I just crawl forward. So there is no improvement, no learning proces, no bars to hold on as a guideline. I think that is what's bothering me the most. The hopelessness of it al.
It leads to nowhere. And it's mediocre.....

Beauty

I found this one on a calender at my aunt and uncle's house:

Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.

It was the only reason why I would ever consider getting married.
It's beautiful.

Just plain fun

In this post I would really like to thank some guys for making me laugh out loud.
Friday I worked with a guy and he had me speechless for some time.
I am speechless a lot these days, but most of the time it is because I am shocked because what people say is offensive or rude or sexist or just plain stupid.
That day I was speechless because of the sheer humor of his remarks. He told me I wanted to stare at his butt. Then he wanted to stare at mine. When I asked him to walk with me, because I needed something, he grabbed my hand and we started hopping around the place.
It was just sheer fun from someone I did not expect it from.
Today I got a text message from a guy with who I worked with about 2 months ago.
We had a meal with a starters buffet, a diner buffet and during diner we looked at each other... will there be a dessert duffet? We raced each other to get inside and there was a truly divine dessert buffet. We had dessert twice and it was well.... divine. After all the work was done, he handed me over some pictures and we merely never spoke again.
Until today I got a message saying: this was a great dessert buffet, I went 3 times and I am completely stuffed.
I laughed out loud, thinking it is a nice way to be remembered...
The one who I can always talk to about desserts :)
I just wanted to thank the guys for making me laugh when I am completely stressed out.

More or less

Today was well..
I did some studying. Actually I have done more then last three days, but somehow because I didn't finish it, I felt stupid.
Then I went on to look for jobs as a motivator for actually finishing my thesis.
I did a test to see if I was a BestGraduate. And I am not...
Felt stupid. Since there were so many things I answered with yes, I thought I was pretty good.
But apparently you can only become a Bestgraduate if your delay in studying is less then 2 years.
And ehm... No it isn't. But I have done so many other things. And I am still not good enough?
Pfff. There it was... the end of motivation for today.
Looked for other jobs at the only company I would maybe want to work for.
And oh my god did it look boring. So I guess I'll go home. Have some sleep and dinner.
And tomorrow I will see again...
and again... and again...